There are whole thriving industries dedicated to the question of how to change other people. They're therapists, trainers, coaches and consultants. Success spans the continuum, on criteria like skillfulness to create change and readiness for change.
I've spent my whole career in all of these roles, grateful for many success stories that fed ego and extrinsic rewards. And the realization now is that at the purest core of the way I approach the work today is simply as inviting the sharing our stories, questions and discoveries.