The feedback conundrum


Feedback can be an issue. We have feedback no one has asked for. People have feedback for us they're giving us not at all or not in useful ways. Our organizational cultures have not kept up with the latest science on personal and collective growth and so there is more emphasis on weaknesses and failures than strengths and successes. 

As it turns out, our weaknesses are never responsible for moments of focus and doing our best and our greatest growth potentials are in the areas of our strengths.

When we are focused, our relationship to feedback is characterized by clarity and calmness. We give and receive useful feedback. It is not an opportunity for distraction from our goodness and the goodness of others. It is not an invitation to be reactive.

When we are focused and we ask for, offer and share feedback with another person, we talk about how things are changing for both of us. We express curiosity about why things are shifting as they are.

We expect change. We don't assume the kinds of feedback we gave people before would be useful to them now. We ask what would be useful now and again in future conversations. We don't assume the kinds of feedback found useful once are kinds that would be useful today.

Only when we experience the clarity and calmness of focus are we capable of inviting, sharing and using useful feedback. 

From the upcoming book 17, Focus.